S.A. Rambles

The experiences I had growing up with an addict  taught me to build walls to protect myself and build narratives that masks whatever is going on inside. For so long that mask had worked because no major event ever happened to me. Sure, I had my ups and downs in dealing with an functioning alcoholic father but nothing major that would alter who I thought I was or the life I had. It wasn't until my dad's DUI arrest, ICE detention and eventual deportation that I had to truly face my feelings, fears and the angriness had been brewing inside me for many years. I've been feeling very lost since that period because I so badly want to go back to being the person I was before and I'm having a hard time accepting  that I can no longer be that person. Just like you can't unsee something, you can't un-experience something. You can't un-hear something. You can't un-know something. I wish I could be in a Harry Potter movie so somebody could use the memory charm on...