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| March 2014 |
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| November 2013. |
You know how when someone changes their life drastically you often wonder what their "Aahhhaaa" moment must have been? Well mine came one day in August 2013 while I had just finished eating an entire bag of Hot Cheeto puffs. It was hot, humid and I remember wearing an old cheer tank top. I looked down and felt utterly gross as I saw my belly fat and flabby arms beading with sweat. I don't know why but a feeling of self loathing rushed upon me, not because of how I looked but for allowing myself to become the person that had just finished eating an entire bag of Hot Cheetos without being hungry in the first place. Emotional eating had become the norm.
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| June 2014 |
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| August 2014 |
SMALL. I started very small. My goal was to go an entire week without eating hot cheetos (yeah those suckers had me hooked like no other). Needless to say I relapsed. The addiction was too strong. But I was DETERMINED to prove to myself that I was not going to give up too quickly. So the cycle began and repeated itself many times before I was able to finally reach my goal. Then I chose another unhealthy eating habit. I continued with these small unhealthy food eliminations until I was able to eliminate them from my daily eats. My eating has developed over time from eliminating unhealthy foods, adding healthy meals, "eating clean" & binging, IIFYM, and now trying to follow intuitive eating but ass you can tell my weight loss has not been dictated by one perfect plan and I continue to find what works best for me.
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| June 6, 2014 City Impact Half Marathon |
SMALL. Just like with food, my exercise began very small. Trust me when I say that I was fully aware of my physical capabilities (or lack there of) so I knew running was out of the question since I could barely jog for 30 seconds before wheezing and puffing. So like most girls looking for some inspiration I hit up Pinterest. Pinterest answered my call and I found many "30 day challenges" that I proceeded to print out. From this point my eating and exercise paralleled in paths. I set a realistic goal of working out for a week straight. Keep in mind that I was not doing any strenuous exercise or working out for more than 20 minutes a day. I failed and failed until I accomplished my goal and was brave enough to attempt the dreaded exercise: running (gasp for effect here).
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| November 2014 Lace Up Running Series Half Marathon |
SMALL. Following a very simple plan I laced up my very old running shoes, downloaded Nike+ and headed outside. 30 sec of running followed by 2 minutes walking. Repeat. Not going to lie, even running for 30 seconds was hard and I in more than one occasion cheated myself by stopping before the seconds were up. As I progressed I started to increase my time running and decrease the time I spent walking. Eventually after weeks of running I was able to do 1 mile non stop. Joy shock and utter disbelief. I was so darn proud of my self and I think this is when my love affair with running started. On March 2014 I ran my longest distance of 5 miles and following my runners high I decided to sign up for my first half marathon. I went from being the girl that could barely run for 30 seconds to training for my first ever half marathon in June. Full recap of my training and race will be for another post :)
Not going to lie, after 12 weeks of running 5-6xweek I began to see running as more of a chore than the fun & exciting exercise that I fell in love with. This whole time during my weight loss journey I had been running or working out at home doing body weight exercises or adding very minimal (we’re talking 5lbs here) weight. Wanting to change up my routine, I joined a small local gym since the big chain gyms were too intimidating for me.. Having never stepped foot in a gym I eagerly signed up to get training sessions with one of the PTs. My goal was to supplement my running with weight training so that I may improve my half marathon time and we did just that. I was still running 4xweek with 2-30 minute weight training sessions and since I was still dropping weight & my time was improving I had no complaints. Then came November. I ran my 2nd half with a PR of 2:03 but I didn't reach my goal of sub 2, my weight plateaued and my trainer ended up getting pneumonia (I was later informed he wasn't coming back so I was Trainer-less). At this point I was frustrated with all the above things but especially about my plateau. I figured that if I wasn't getting the results I wanted by what I was currently doing then I had to switch it up which meant less running more weights. In retrospect these events were a blessing in disguise. The weeks following I tried to learn as much as I could about lifting & building muscle. I outlined a basic split week schedule and applied what I learned online. It has been and continues to be a learning process but that’s what I love about lifting: there is always something different you can do to target specific muscles and you don’t have to follow the exact same routine every time. There are endless combinations to that you can never get bored.
Lifting transformed me in unexpected ways: physically my entire body was getting tighter and leaner (my weight continues to be the same) but what shocked me the most was my mental transformation. My confidence grew and I was no longer intimidated by being one of the only girls using the weight room. I also got a new trainer. He's an ex college football player who is knowledgeable about lifting techniques and has driven me to progress in strength for various lifts. I guess you can say I'm a cardio bunny turned into weight lifter that still loves her occasional long-distance runs.
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| January 2015 |
Healthy eating + exercise= weight loss??
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| March 2015 |
I lost weight. From my starting point in August 2013 I weighed well over 200+ lbs, I officially weighed myself on Feb 2014 and weighed 190 lbs. Today I weigh around 145 lbs and have not lost any weight since November 2014; I always thought that if I reached my goal weight I would magically love myself and life would be perfect. As if being overweight was the reason for my unhappiness, the reason I didn't have a boyfriend or why I couldn't hold on to meaningful relationships. Boy was I wrong. Losing weight has taught me that I may look better physically than I did before but I still have the same feelings of insecurity, constantly criticizing my body instead of appreciating how far I've come and the fear of letting others into my life. I may have successfully lost 45+ lbs but I in the process I gained something else: a negative mentality with food and body dis-morphia. Although the weight came off easily at the beginning and my body composition (lowering body fat % & increasing muscle mass) continues to change the scale hasn't moved. I find myself questioning how much am I willing to let the scale dictate how I feel about myself?? As someone who has been described by the number on the scale for so long it is hard not to let a "low" number make you happy when a "high" number caused you to feel unhappy for so long. I guess only time will tell...
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