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Mexico: A Slow(er) Paced Lifestyle

My dad and I on my last day in Mexico in the city of Purandiro. 
I have so many self dialogues that it makes me feel a little less crazy to write them out on here then to simply walk around having solo conversations in my head. That's not weird at all....or so I tell myself. I mean the majority of those conversations are very introspective analysis of where I am in my life, why I am who I am and also complaining about my single status. There's basically a hamster wheel in my head and it's spinning non stop with all these thoughts but I'm outwardly supper calm and serene. I'm sure I'm not the only one that can relate to this juxtaposition. 

That's also why I called this blog "S.A. rambles," because I'm basically jumping from thought A to thought B to thought C....etc without any real connections between the "thoughts" or posts. I am literally rambling, hence the name. 

Lately I have been thinking about my time in Mexico and the fact that I've come back a changed women but I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. I feel like I came back and I've been more go with the flow, hippie-esq restful attitude. Where as before I was go-go-go, check things off my list, no room for rest attitude and I feel very weird about it. Almost like I'm floating above my body and I don't recognize this "new" person. I've never spend so much time just "hanging out" with a plan, resting and lounging as I have these past weeks since returning. Like who is she?!?! Am I going to be like this forever?!?  I'm telling you, this was ALL Mexico's fault because people live a very slow paced life, at least where I was visiting. People aren't frantically trying to get a gazillion things done or non-stop on the go until night time. It's no uncommon to find people in the middle of the day hanging out in their stoops, peeling garbanzos and just talking. A clear example of this is the the city of Purandiro, where shops will close around 2 pm and won't open back up until 5:30pm. The city literally shuts down so people can take a siesta (mid afternoon sleep) or to go home and eat. 

That experience was so freaking weird to me as someone that leaves her home at 7:30 am and does not return until at least 8 pm. I found myself wondering the streets because I would get anxiety not having anything to do. Eventually I embraced this slower paced life and I seemed to have carried it back with me to the U S of A because now I get anxiety thinking about all the things I have to cram in one day. A part of me is happy because I definitely needed to pump the breaks and slow down because my body was physically reacting to all this added stress. My body actually appreciated the slower pace because I lost weight despite the fact that my diet consisted of bread (literally shoved myself with 3-5 pieces everyday), meat and some veggies. I got more sleep, I felt less bloated and overall better physically than I did pre-Mexico and that that's probably why my body is like "nah girl, slow the F down. don't make me go back!" 

The positive of this slower paced attitude is that I do feel a lot "healthier" both physically and emotionally but I also don't feel 100% myself. I almost feel like I'm letting myself go and I almost see that in a negative way because I feel like everything that I have accomplished so far has been because I've been on a fast track pace and I didn't' allowed myself that moment of rest or allowing myself to not have a to do list. 

Will me slowing down cause me to hamper or stagnate my goals? Will I lose that determination that I had before, that "Rest is for when you are dead" attitude if I change my pace? Should I resist this "new" attitude/personality and try to push past it? Is this just trying to create that "vacation vibe" so I won't have to face "reality" or is it actually something that is concrete?


These are the internal dialogues that I have constantly. It's that little hamster wheel that keeps on creaking along. 



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